Try as hard as you can to get rid of it, its still there.
I think today I got rid of the last of the stuff that reminds me of it, stuff like physical evidence, I will never forget it as hard as I might try. It was a tough task since each item represented some moment that I had to think of again. I dont want to keep any of those things any more. I held on to them for some reason, I didnt want to let go. I realized I had to, but I didnt want to do it. Finally I did it. It just took me awhile to do it. Looking back on it all now, which I cant prevent myself from doing, its inevitable, I think I made things worse with that situation. I think I pushed someone away. And now I feel like I do that to many people. Maybe thats the reason I am lonely. As I told someone else though, I think in that suspicious way alot, like the world hates me. I dont know what I am going through now. Its a state of overwhelming doubt and confusion. I cant seem to find a way out of it. I dont know why I posted this here, I just felt like I needed to let it out. I didnt want someone to possibly read it, so I felt here was fine.